After watching the truely frightening new video from the Hoffmeister again, I realized that this is all new footage. At first I figured it was just a re-edit of an old video that he had made in Germany, or somewhere. But as I watched, I realized that Hoff looks quite a bit older in this video than in the older ones. I have thus concluded that (a) this is a truely new video, and (b) that Hasselhoff infact does age!
Had I really been tricked into believing all the hype that Davey was super-human? Maybe I just wanted to believe it, but alas, it can't be true. Well... it can't all be true. He very well could still be super-human, but he can't escape aging with the rest of us.
Unlike the other super-human being that prowles the internet insearch of orphans upon which to snack: Chuck Norris. Now there's a fine specimine of internet hype! Like they say, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits.
And somewhere among all of this, I thought, "Hey, in an epic battle to the death, who would win: David Hasselhoff, or Chuck Norris?" After being assured that The Hoff would for sure Hassle Mr. Norris to death (because he is apparently the devil walking on the earth (see video)), I was still pulling for Chuck.
This being the internet and the age of Google, there was only one logical way to solve this conflict:
Yes, that's right, Google Fight. Where you can pit any two search terms against eachother in a quest for victory.
The results, I must say, were to my liking. With 11,900,000 hits, Chuck Norris pwns David Hasselhoff's measily 5,870,000 hits.
So there you have it. Another one of life's mysteries solved, thanks to me and my friend, the Internet. ;)