Your bill is late. Again.

I wrote this a while ago and didn't think that I should post it when it was fresh, but this was a semi-common mental self-commentary that I used to have while working as a manager at the self storage place...

So lemme get this right: your company knows it has a bill that is due on the 1st of every month and is the same amount every month, but you only process checks on the first Tuesday or Thursday of every month.  Meaning that if the first of the month is on a Friday, you're not going to cut a check until the following Tuesday, the fifth of the month.  Plus, it's sent on a horse and buggy by thoroughly modern sorting and transportation methods through the U.S. Postal Service from another state, so it's going to take at least three additional days to get to me.

Yes, you're being assessed a late fee.  No, I don't care that it's going to break your system to cut an out of cycle check.

Have a good day, now!

I would have liked to say it out loud to a few people though...  ;)