Words to live by

"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."
- Marilyn vos Savant

Dale Carnegie On Talking To The Boss

"If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive."
--Dale Carnegie

At some point in our life we find ourselves dealing with people that we just can't win with. It makes it worse when the person we want to persuade is our boss. It is frustrating when we know we have good ideas but no one cares to listen. Here are a few recommendations on approaching people who are not as open-minded as we would want them to be:

Begin in a friendly way. Start a conversation with your boss and than see if it might be a good time to talk to him/her about your ideas. Begin the conversation with "small talk." Try to focus on topics your boss would be interested in. This way your boss does not only think of you as an employee but as someone with whom he/she might have a short and fun conversation with on occasions.

Know your boss. If you have previously tried putting your ideas before him/her than you should have an idea about what they're going to say next. Work on that and reflect. Anticipate responses and have an idea of what you're going to say. Remember to stay professional and don't let your emotions get in the way.

Don't criticize. If the assignment that you were given was your boss' idea, he or she might take it the wrong way when you try to change it. Make sure when you come up with a better alternative to the task you still give credit to your boss. For example, "your assignment had inspired me to take on a greater task".

Put yourself in his/her shoes. Why would you as a boss even consider this idea? Is this something that would be beneficial to you, the boss? Even if the idea is not directly connected to your boss there is always something he/she would benefit from. Don't forget to specify that.

Stay professional. If you going to build a relationship with your boss keep it steady otherwise it will become very obvious that you only converse with them when you need something.


Source:
Dale Carnegie Course
12 Weeks, 3.5 hrs per week &
Carnegie Immersion Seminar
3 Eight Hour Days

Not Creatures of Logic

"When we are dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bursting with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity."

--Dale Carnegie

I think that this is on reason why I have such a hard time with some people and some people's decisions. I find it even more frustrating when some of my own decisions come down to this highly illogical concept. Decisions and actions, which, at the time sound good, often end up being unreasonable and sometimes contradictory to one's own big-picture.

But most people just are not motivated by logic, at least in the short term. That is why courses like the Dale Carnegie training teach managers to try to find what inspires people to do their best work without dictating too much intangible logic. Everyone's drive is different, but we all have similarities; this is what can be leverage to get the best out of people.

Don't dictate -- inspire
Don't direct -- win people to your way of thinking
Begin with praise and honest appreciation
Build morale and earn loyalty
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

(I love some of the quaint language that they use. "A fine reputation." Uh huh, and remind them that Herbert Hoover is no longer President.)

But really, when you think about it, how do you want to be told to do something that you would rather not do? You probably don't just want it to be shouted at you by someone you don't like with no reasoning to back it up. That is not going to inspire anyone to do a good job on any task that isn't completely menial.

Now if I could just remember to use some of my Carnegie skills at work, we'd be in good shape!

I'm not that into chains

Time for another Dale Carnegie moment of Zen from my weekly email:

"We forge the chains we wear in life."
--Charles Dickens

Embrace things in your life that drive you to achieve, and start letting go of those things that do not. It is difficult to distinguish the category in which any of your activities belong, but paying attention to your choices and their consequences will sponsor the awareness you'll need to make better life choices in the future.

Remember the small things that make you happy, and use them to battle things that loom much larger and stress you out.

Consider these suggestions:

• Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, hope, and health
• Never try to get even with your enemies
• Expect ingratitude
• Count your blessings, not your troubles
• Try not to imitate others
• Create happiness for others

Source: Dale Carnegie Course

If no one has noticed, the Carnegie principles are very big on self responsibility and creating your own opportunities for change. I believe that this approach to life and business is the only way to be happy and successful. If you won't do the things that will make you succeed, who will?

I'm definitely still working on the being happy and successful part, and I don't exactly exemplify the Dale Carnegie principles to the extent that I feel that I should, but I wanted to share this with anyone who cares to read it. What really matters is that we keep moving forward.

It's all in your head

You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.

--Dale Carnegie (1888 - 1955)

Dale Carnegie on Fatigue

As a graduate of the Dale Carnegie course (generously paid for by my employer), I am apparently permanently signed up for the "Carnegie Success Connection Tip of the Week" newsletter. It is normally some pretty insightful stuff, even if a lot of it is mostly common sense. This week's installment is below:

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”

-- Dale Carnegie

Often fatigue at the end of a work day cannot be attributed simply to the hard work we've done. Our own negative reactions to the stressful, daily grind drain our energy and stifle our potential for success.

Here are a few tips on how to relieve some personal frustrations so as to increase productivity without resentment:

• Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope
• Count your blessings instead of your troubles
• Cooperate with that which is inevitable

Source:
Dale Carnegie Course
12 Weeks, 3.5hrs per week